I'm Your Biggest Fan!|
By Heather Egland
The following form letter was sent in hopes of eliciting a response, any response, from the recipients listed below. Recipients were chosen at random; each one is, in fact, already a winner. Responses will be published in the next issue.
The Consular Division of the Embassy of the Russian Federation
Attn: Vladimir Putin
2641 Tunlaw Road N.W.
Washington, DC 20007
The Reagan Ranch Center
Attn: Nancy Reagan
217 State St.
Santa Barbara, CA 93101
Embassy of Brunei Darussalam
Attn: The Sultan of Brunei
3520 International Court N.W.
Washington, DC 20008
Tarkenton Sports Inc.
Attn: Fran Tarkenton
3340 Peachtree Road N.E., Suite 2570
Atlanta, GA 30326
Elektra Entertainment Group Inc.
Warner Music Group
Attn: Stewart Copeland
75 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10019
345 North Maple Drive
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
March 1, 2001
City, State, Zip
Dear Intended Recipient,
Hello, my name is Heather. I am writing to tell you about me and to hear about you. I was surprised and happy to learn that we share a birthday. Happy blated birthday! What is your zodiac sign?
What is your favorite animal? I like kitty cats. Big ones and little ones. I saw a big one at the zoo and it liked this old man so much it rubbed its head on the glass.
Do you ever have weird dreams? I had this dream one time that a storm made the sky red and the lightening black and my grandmom and me couldn't get away unless we drove the pickup truck over a cliff.
My dad says you have Hitler's brain in a jar. What does it smell like? If my mom leaves the apple juice out on the counter too long it smells like olives. Does that ever happen at your house?
Do you have a favorite movie? Mine is Betaville.
I like to make puppet shows and I have a collection of ribbons and bows because I can braid the hair on my dolls really good.
I have to go now, because there is too much for me to tell and there is a lot about me that you don't know.
Thank you for making the world a safer place.
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Copyrightę2002 by Heather Egland.
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