Dispatches from the Natural World

The Sexual Moray

Recent events have brought to my attention a particular phrase. At first I thought there was some hilarious misunderstanding, but now I realize I have actually discovered a secret new animal, the “sexual moray,” which is clearly an eel, and definitely phallus shaped.

I have randomly selected the first four instances of sexual morays that I came across on the Internet. It may be strange that you can read four separate things as a paragraph, but remember that this new species of eel is secret and its ways are not entirely known to us. That will bring enlightenment upon you as you read:

Having been brought up in homes with certain sexual morays, there lies within them a confounding disparity between what they have been taught, and what they feel (or know) to be true for them.

As a result, sexual behavior within our churches, more often than not, is conducted along the general moral guidelines of modern society, with society’s views of sexual morays seeming more reasonable and credible than those of the church.

Is this revolutionary, or just reentrenching sexual morays?

The Monarch rules on matters involving Kobe Bryant, Martha Stewart, the Patriot Act and sexual morays in general.

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