In This Issue

Steve at the Elvis slots

Demanding the King

Five friends of mine and I took a trip to Las Vegas the weekend of January the 8th… We returned home bitterly disappointed in one key respect: the lack of Elvis and general Elvisness during our stay.
By Steve Spaulding

A Prescription for Dr. Dean

(Take Two of These and Win Me an Election)

As likable loser Dr. Howard Dean rolls up his sleeves and takes over stewardship of the Democratic National Committee, he must know he inherits a sad flock of baying, directionless sheep wanting desperately for a shepherd. By Matt McCarthy

Who Enters Will Be Swallowed Whole, The Sea Gudgeon Requires It

Iris X, owner of a small ascendant career / in an ever failing industry. By Nadya Pittendrigh

Loose Teeth

Gerald was vaguely alarmed, but he was skeptical of anything involving a 36-year-old sous-chef, especially when the situation seemed a bit theatrical. For all Gerald knew, it was chicken blood on the chef’s coat. By John Detrixhe

Where We Once Were: Stories of Childhood

Kick-the-can was a religion on my block when I was a kid. As dusk fell and some poor sucker counted to 20, you ran for your favorite hiding spot, hoping your parents wouldn’t call you in for bed until this round was over. By Blythe Hurley, Erica Bernheim, and Angela Mesaros

The Ropes

The two superheroes lapsed into silence for a moment… Eventually, the tension of sitting next to a man wearing a skin-tight outfit while wearing his own skin-tight outfit became too much for The Arcadian. By Steve Spaulding

The Jane Sonnet

Bar hair and Atari hands in tow, I come to you to gurgle, / Foment, curtsy, and blow… By Anthony Robinson

Spanish White Wines

Can You Name One?

Spain is home to an array of white wines ranging from the exotic, food-friendly albariño to the more neutral, clean, crisp viura and verdejo to the more familiar chardonnay and sauvignon blanc. By Al Dereu


This wall of nothing, all over. / Back then it meant a lot. By Davide Trame

The Quest for Answers

Moral values, family values… I remember them from the ‘80s and they’re back. I didn’t understand them then and I don’t understand them now and I definitely didn’t see them coming. By Chris Slankard


Dad would never raise his voice, but sometimes you would hear certain words… slip. He might say fit for fight, or far for fair, but the one you had to listen hardest for was caint for can’t. By Steve Spaulding


The devil said, “Why Sergei Ivanovich, look at you, wandering the streets of St. Petersburg all night like some spectral bohemian. To look at you one might think you had some golden-hearted prostitute on your mind.” By Nadya Pittendrigh


From the Publisher

New Scars for the Summer

The aliens in our sci-fi stories no longer want to assimilate us. They want to kill us. They want to exterminate us. By Geary Yonker

Spotlight Site

The Future of Music: Tomorrow Never Knows

The history of the American music industry is a disheartening one, which largely details the exploitation of artists and musicians by opportunists and those without the musicians’ best interests at heart. By Matt McCarthy


Gettin’ Sheared for a Good Cause

My ponytail was more the product of deep-rooted laziness and a reluctance to take care of my hair than a desire to prance about with long, gleaming locks. By Carter O’Brien


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Monkey Knife Fight

Carter O’Brien, guitar
Mike Overmier, guitar
Geary Yonker, bass
Ryan Norsworthy, drums

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